"Love+Sex=?" or "The Confused Heart"

For today I have two topics that are at the same time connected yet separate. Love & Sex.

Sex:

I love sex. Its by far my favorite thing to do. I will drop anything to be with my wife. I've even been known to leave work when the urge takes her and she sends me a sexy text message. Sex with her is never boring. She is always willing to try new things (which i wont mention here). I don't think I can fully explain how much I like sex in a blog. Its just the funnest thing two people can do. I'm prone to talking about with strangers online. Not for gratification but for just conversation. I like to know other's views on my favorite subject. Not cybersex or role-playing but just sex questions. It seems to be a most popular subject among most people. In my past I've had the casual meaningless sex. Its not near as fun as it is with someone you love. This is also true with talking about sex. In fact, I believe, it is necessary to have memorable sex. This is a problem for my sex life. We do talk about sex. What we like and what we don't, but if I mention something she doesn't like it makes her feel bad. I won't get into specifics but some of my wilder fantasies make her feel bad. That, in turn, makes me feel bad. Its not that I love her less or even that I love anyone more. In fact I couldn't love her any more or less than I do now. They are just some things I want to try with her. Just some things I want to try with her.

Love:

This is the thing that keeps me alive. Drives me to drag myself out of bed everyday and do the things I hate to give them what little I can. I have so much love for my wife and our children I can't even begin to put it in words. My wife is like a ray of light that pierces the dark grey veil that surrounds my everything. When she is away I am a pitiful person. Pathetic and aimless. I become less. When she is near I bask in her warmth and am drawn to her. I become happy just seeing her face. Just knowing she is at home waiting for me is all the reason I need to rush to her when my work is done. Never have I felt more love from another person. Never have I loved anyone like I love her. Never will I. She is truly the perfect mix of  amazing, loving, caring and intelligent. Never has someone gave themselves so completely to anything as she has done to me. For me there is no other human being on the planet (or other planets) I could love more. When I am alone with her, nothing else exists, no one else exist. We enter our own plane of existence and I am taken away to a place inundated by love and warmth. When it ends I find myself longing to go back. Dreaming of the time I can return to her world. Return to the place where we are one. No longer individuals but a joined being lost in a place of love and happiness not caring about how to be found. Happy to be lost. Wanting to be lost.

To me love and sex are but two parts of a greater whole. Without one the other is less. Love is the result, sex is the expression. Sure you could have love without sex, and sex without love. But that doesn't work for me. I couldn't imagine one without the other. Its much like a mathematical equation. They balance each other. Much like a relationship. There must be a yin and a yang. A hot and cold. An up and down. So for now I'll leave it at that. Just consider this a look into a confused heart.