What is the point of all this? Am I being tested? How long is this test and does anyone have a cheat sheet for me? How about just some hints? Surely the world isn't out to get me, right? Right?! Why does it seem this way? Why do I have to keep climbing out of this hole just to fall back in deeper? Why must the climb be so hard? Why can't I get out? What is it about me that makes me incapable of escaping this place? When will I give up trying? Will I die in this hole? Why is it so dark here? Could someone just please shine a light down here so I can get just one foothold? Can I please just get one second of hope from above to show me that there is something up there worth the fight of this endless climb? How long have I been here? Forever? How long will I be here? Always? When I get out will I have anything left to go on? Will I even want to go on? Is there more climbing after this?
I'm tired of climbing. I think I'll just stay down here. It's dark and cold but I think I'll be fine. I think I could stay. I think I will stay. Just lay down and curl up. Sleep, come swiftly.
1 comment:
Pretty dark there honey. Dont forget, you arent down there by yourself. I am right there with ya. It always seems to work out one way or the other right? Sounds like some of my pessimism has rubbed off on you? That sucks, you were always the one to get me through those doubts. We can get through this. It sucks, its hard, but we have been through hard sucky stuff and made it this far. I love you. I know I am not always the person you want me to be, but I love you with all of my heart none the less. Hold your head up, you have a beautiful healthy family, you are a very intelligent man and something is out there for you. If you dotn lift up your head you might not see it, and it will pass you by.
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